What women Don’t Say In Their Relationships: Part I

paying the bill

paying the billWhat women don’t say in their relationships about money and how they spend money is something that deserves some discussions. Women most often spend and then try justifying their spending habits to men in relationships that are full of suspicions. Are women hiding from men or vice versa concerning how much they spend on habits? What’s about a new relationship where one party asks the other out for a dinner? Who pays the bill? The woman or the man?

How Much They Spend

To say that all women lie about how much they spend would be a poor generalization. Some women will lie about how much they spend, but they’re also more likely to lie about other things as well. Telling a lie is a character issue that doesn’t change with the situation. The reasons people tell lies range from trying to get out of a situation, hiding something or making themselves bigger than they are. If a woman is lying about how much she’s spending, then she’s probably also lying about other things because she doesn’t think that lying is basically wrong.

The argument goes that a woman would rather sneak around about how much she is spending than try to justify her spending habits or hassle over arguing about the cost of her accessories. Some women will go so far as to pay for 1/2 of a purchase using her credit or debit card and pay for the remainder in cash.
Overspending or hiding expenses is a classic sitcom plot because it can be true. Some women believe there is a difference between a “real” lie and a “white” lie about what they’re doing.

But, the reality is that if you are in a relationship, then honesty will always be the best policy. Men want to know that their women are honest, that they can trust them and that they don’t overspend, overeat or overdo anything. When women justify their overspending by telling themselves that what they want is important and that their partners are just not aware of how much things cost, then it’s time to educate the men about how much things cost.

11Finances are one of the big areas that create conflict in a relationship. Overcoming this hurdle is a strong indication that the partnership will continue to develop strong emotional roots. However, when either the man or woman begin to justify their little white lies about anything (short of a surprise birthday party!) it’s time to re-evaluate whether the partnership is really the healthiest it could be.

Dating has moved from men asking always and paying for everything, through the woman’s movement to women asking men out and expecting to pay occasionally. But the expectations have gone full circle. Have you heard your girlfriend say that she doesn’t mind picking up the tab because you always pay? Well, likely, she’s probably just making the gesture and doesn’t expect you to take her up on it.

Paying The Tab

As women began moving into public places and employment in high ranking positions more easily, they also expected the perceived perks that men had. They wanted the power and acceptance to ask out a man if she was interested and, with that power, the expectation that if she’s asking then she’s paying. However, over the years, women have come to recognize that they can hold those positions of power with their boss and still be a woman.

pick up the bill

The societal expectation is now that the man will be paying, UNLESS she was the one who asked you out. Once you’ve been out together 3 or 4 times she might half-heartedly reach for the check and suggest she pay this time, but if you want to remain in high regard in her eyes, don’t let her. The time to share expenses will come after you have a more committed relationship. If she’s the one, then that won’t be long. And, if she’s not the one, then you can let her pay and see how that all pans out.

Realistically, if you let her pay you risk looking cheap in her eyes. The woman’s movement has moved past the expectation that women have an equal part in society to knowing that they do. The glass ceiling is slowly moving ever upward in the employment scenario but women still want to be treated as women. They want their men to cherish them and recognize the advantages they bring to the relationship without having to pay to get in the door.

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