Do you ever feel like you have a bulls-eye plastered across your forehead with the words “Ready to Get Hurt” stamped in big red letters?
That might just describe those feelings you have when you realize for the 10th time that you’ve fallen for the wrong person just one more time. It’s time that you come to the realization that you have the power to choose the person you want in your life and not the other way around. Many times women feel that the men have all the power and when you talk to men, they feel it’s the women with the power. Believe it or not – it’s BOTH!
Either one can say no and stop a budding romance in its tracks; it really does take two to tango. So, it is important to keep your eyes open and look around as you are saying yes to one person and no to another. Too many articles will tell you that it’s the way you dress, whether you are good at conversation or your body type that will land you the person of your dreams. In reality it is the person living under your skin who determines how happy or unhappy you are going to be in a relationship based on self-image, self-confidence and self-awareness.
Let’s start with your awareness of yourself. Take a look at the wrong relationships in your life and determine if there is a pattern. Are you afraid of being alone so you fall for the first person? Do you think you have a certain “type” and overlook people who don’t fit the mold? Are you afraid of being emotional intimate so you pick the person you KNOW can’t commit and then you don’t have anything to worry about?
Once you can determine what’s going on inside of your own head, you can start to see a pattern of behavior. Whether you want to admit to it or not, your friends probably have the answers to your questions. They watch you without the emotional baggage that you carry around (they have their own but it doesn’t interfere with their assessment of you). They see what you do and say but are usually too kind to make a mention unless you ask. It is time to ask!
Be ready to be humble and accepting of what they say. You don’t have to respond but you should take it all in and start to process how they see you. Because that’s exactly how your potential new SO will see you too. Accept the fact that you aren’t perfect but with your friends help you can see some of those faults and change them.
These are the same factors that play in to your self-image. This is how you see yourself, not necessarily how others see you. It is time to make them both the same. By getting feedback from others who will be honest, you can learn the differences between what you think you are like in public and what you are really like. They should be as aligned as possible to improve your self-confidence.
When you know who you are, how you look to others and what you want, you’ll have more confidence in going after it and making it your own. This is just another name for self-confidence.
You are free to NOT pick the person who has trouble connecting, who gets angry easily, who is emotionally immature or hasn’t really left adolescence yet.
This is YOUR time in life and your time to be the best you that you can be!
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