Online Dating Rules: Being Real

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love and datingDeveloping an online dating profile is all about knowing how to represent the “Real You” to potential suitors. To do that, you must know yourself well. There should be no layers or hidden components. Wouldn’t you be upset if you read an online profile and met the individual who turned out to be very different from what their profile said? It happens all the time.

So, if you are serious about dating and being successful you must resist writing a fairy tale or living it. Fabricating incidents or stories should NEVER be done. If you are really seeking to get close to a man then you will not be able to carry on living a lie, however small, forever.

Be honest with yourself—just as you are suspicious and wary of people, so also are the people who are trying online dating. Contradictions are unnecessary and very negative. You will agree that “we are what we are” and cannot, by using mere words, turn into glamorous women or someone adventurous.

White lies and contradictions are guarantees of being dumped. Once a person realizes they can’t trust you they will steer clear. Not only that, but your reputation in the online community will spread like wildfire.

One thing that is crucial is that “we have to live with ourselves and be happy.” So, it is best to be with a person who accepts you for what you are and does not expect you to change. Never be afraid to say “I don’t like plays/or fancy clothes are not ME/ or I love balloon rides.”

Relationships only work when a man and woman live the life of two distinct individuals and yet share bonds, love, and common interests. There must be personal space and freedom in a relationship or people get overwhelmed by the closeness. Have your own life, your own interests and your own friends. Look for a partner who suits you best. They may not be drop dead gorgeous but may have a sense of humor, care about the little things in life, and appreciate you.

Take the time and make the effort of looking through profiles as well as experiences posted by other people. You will gain a good idea of what works and what does not. I’m not suggesting that you copy someone else’s profile word for word, but you can get ideas of good phrases and the type of information they include.

Next, read through profiles posted by the opposite sex and make a list of what appeals to you. Gain an understanding of what they’re looking for (apart from the obvious physical characteristics), and you will be able to include some aspects in your profile—be sure they pertain to who you are and not to an idea of you in your imagination. Don’t go over the top, though –if you say that you love sitting in front of the TV, watching all types of sport, whilst eating a ready meal with a few cans of beer, you’ll probably find a suitable man, but may not have a blissful life!

Be specific about your lifestyle and interests. Rather than listing hobbies give specific examples – I have trekked the Andes, or sailed through the Florida Keys, or put together a classic car in our garage with my brother. Specifics paint word pictures of the “true you.”

Be positive, energetic, open minded, and a giver. Never be a doormat and allow people to push you around.
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