Sometimes, in your desire to have a settled life like the rest of your friends, you try to move the relationship you’re in too fast to a committed relationship. The absolute rule to remember is that any relationship is a journey and not a race to the altar.
As women, we often think of life in terms of events and not in terms of emotions. We move through a relationship under a specific timeline that exists only in our heads. He may not have the same timeline, and in fact, probably does not. Most men don’t have a time line. He doesn’t have a concrete sense of time. If it feels right, he’ll move toward commitment quickly – if it doesn’t he may never get there.
Men tend to place their emotions, relationships and activities into boxes. Sometimes the things in those boxes don’t get addressed for months at a time. Two men may not have seen each other in 2 years but can take up their friendship from where it left off like nothing happened. It’s the blessing and curse of the male mind.
If you work against this it will result in him leaving, but when you work with it, then you become an intrigue and something worth pursuing. You can’t move forward too quickly asking for a commitment when you make it the guy’s idea. When you ask for the commitment then you may as well hang it up. The minute you start talking ABOUT the relationship instead of living it, he’ll turn tail and run.
But, when you work on becoming the best person you can be, whether you are with him or not, you’ll become desirable. In other words, he’ll be doing the hunting, pursuing and planning to keep you, while you just focus on being the best you that you can be. This is because you are inspiring him and not reading a laundry list of wants, complaints and questions.
The word ‘commitment’ can strike fear into the heart of any man. But, when the idea comes from his own heart and he desires the actuality of a commitment without using the word ‘commitment’ he’s well on his way to slipping a ring on your finger or moving your relationship to the next level that you both desire.
This doesn’t mean that he won’t use the word commitment, but it will mean that it comes from him and not from you. Knowing how to get a man to have the idea himself is an art form. Perfecting that art form only means making yourself desirable and he’ll pursuing you without you doing anything else to encourage him.
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