How To Make Him Want A Relationship

dating

datingIs there someone in your life that you would love to be exclusively connected to but who doesn’t seem interested? Or maybe you have your heart set on the guy who has decided that commitment is not the answer for them. There are several things you can do to make a difference in the outcome without going overboard and scaring the daylights out of him. Before reading further, let’s be clear that you can’t really make anyone do anything that they don’t want to do. BUT, you can tweak their interest, change their mind and show them a future of possibilities that they may not have otherwise explored.

It’s important to start the relationship so you maintain the power. You may not have begun that way but if you make subtle changes over the coming weeks you can get the power back. Men want to be in relationships with women who are selective about who they date. If the woman will date anyone, then the man by definition is not respected or esteemed. Men are NOT attracted to women who try to convince them of anything, but instead are attracted to women who live by certain standards.

Functionally this means that if a woman is perceived by the man as needing his love and commitment it is a turn-off, plain and simple. But, if the woman maintains her own emotional space, has her own friends and “includes” him in her life rather than insinuating herself in his, this is very attractive. Now the man is in the position of being the hunter and not the hunted, which also means that the woman is not giving herself to every man who passes her way.

This is just one way of making the man think that it is all his idea, and that’s a skill that women have been using for centuries. Unfortunately, in an age when women are more likely to speak their mind than to change someone else’s, that skill has grown rusty. Not one of us likes to feel as though someone is demanding something of us we don’t want to give or is manipulating our behavior. That’s why it is so important that when you are living that life in front of him, you are honest and authentic about it. You don’t go out with your girlfriends to make him jealous of the time he isn’t spending with you – you do it because you honestly WANT to.

When you can honestly live a strong and independent life, your demeanor and attitude will reflect that. It won’t be faked. And, if the guy decides that you aren’t the person for you, you’ll have friends and social activities to fall back on.

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Think back to a time when someone wanted you to be in a relationship with them and you weren’t interested. Maybe it was a guy who wanted to be your SO or a women who wanted to be your friend. For one reason or another, you didn’t feel you clicked with this person. The degree to which they tried to convince you that the friendship or relationship would work was how hard you tried to get away.

And the same is true of the man you want to be your SO. Look at it from his point of view in order to give yourself a fighting chance for success.

Another strategy is to let the guy know what you want and then stick to your guns. Ask the guy what he wants in a relationship (either after several dates or when you are just friends – NEVER on the first couple of dates!) and then tell him what you want. “I want someone who can be my best friend, make me laugh, enjoy the small things in life together, go to the movies, travel and have great sex.”

When he knows what you want, and you believe what you want, he’ll know if you can live up to the standard. You’ve set the bar, set a standard and it’s clear. It’s what you want. There are no games and no guessing. If he hasn’t asked you on a date, it gets him thinking that you are really relationship material and if you are at the start of a relationship (AFTER at least 4-5 dates) it solidifies for him if you and he are compatible.

If you have the chance to meet his friends and family, make a great first impression. If you can get along with his friends and family, it’s a big step to improving your potential for a long-term relationship. But, if you don’t think you can get along with his friends and family, take another strong look at the guy. The apple truly doesn’t fall far from the tree. He hangs around with the people who are most like him and he is like his family.

Don’t convince yourself that you want a man who doens’t live up to what you want, because you’ll be unhappy and miserable afterward. You have value and you should know it. When you know, so will he.

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