When two teams are fighting and one would like to surrender before loss of any more life or points on the board – depending upon what’s being played out – the surrendering team puts up a white flag. In some instances, that white flag is more metaphorical than physical. When you are dating, there are some red flags that men wave without realizing. When you ‘see’ these red flags it’s important to either run or keep a more watchful eye on the budding relationship to determine if that was an anomaly or his consistent behavior.
Sex is one of those red flags.
You might be holding your hand up right now saying – WAIT! But I enjoy sex. Why is THAT a red flag?
There are several reasons that sex can be a red flag that tells you this guy is not interested. Of course, if you just want a one-night-stand and don’t care if he ever calls you again, then no worries! But if you’re more interested in a relationship than a roll in the hay with a stranger then here’s why you should watch out.
Most guys will ask but it’s up to you to define the boundaries. Guys who are interested in long-term relationships are not interested in jumping in the sack with you on the first or second date. If you offer, they won’t turn you down. They are men after all! But suddenly you’ll be moved from the potential long-term, marriage minded relationship to a casual dating relationship or friends with benefits. Even though guys love sex, they also know enough to separate relationships with women who are too willing to jump into bed from those who are interested in a real emotionally connected relationship.
In some instances, you’ll hear this new great guy tell you outright that he’s just not the boyfriend type or that he isn’t interested in a girlfriend right now. It’s just a bad time in his life – nothing wrong with you! That’s when your wheels start turning and you think, “sex might draw us closer together and change his mind.”
Forget that thought! While he won’t turn down sex, he really isn’t interested in a committed relationship and sex won’t change his mind. In fact, there isn’t much that will change his mind. If you want a committed relationship, then it’s time to cut your losses and start looking somewhere else.
And then . . . there are the men who don’t respect your boundaries. Sometimes you’ll run into the occasional guy who wants a little something – something without a commitment, or who won’t respect your “no” answer. These guys are rare but they do exist. It’ important to stay in safe areas with all men as you get to know them so you don’t find yourself in a position of having to defend yourself without any outside help. When you find the +occasional creep, it’s time to run. Most of these guys won’t take the effort to stalk you, so changing your number is probably not necessary.
Sex is something you and your committed boyfriend should talk about. Each couple will define their physical relationship differently, but it should be something you both agree to adhere to and not something you use to tie him down or something he just wants from you before moving on.
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